To clarify some potential misunderstandings: Speudon actually just means that shaving causes stubble and coarse skin, and pulling one’s seventeen-year-old mustachios out (or the local equivalent of Magic Shaving Powder or Nads Hair Gel) might be the preferred method.

If he’d had a few more panels, Speudon was also going to mention that it’s way too late for the Eunuch Solution to do any good. There were plenty of eunuchs around at the time, but the practice was frowned on in Rome and sometimes given harsh penalties (file also under “practices of strange foreign religions that disturb Romans” and “things that can actually gross out a Roman”). But imported, accidental, or the occasional, uhm, homegrown eunuchs were around enough for Romans to worry about their influence on society.

Later, by the time of the Byzantine court, attitudes had changed entirely.