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SPQR Blues copyright © ByrenLee Press.
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If the sandal fits, wear it Which Roman Are You?

Because haven't you always wondered where you'll be when Vesuvius blows?
How's your Latin?
Like a native   
I have a bit. Tempus edax rerum. Res ipsa loquitur. Viae Romanae sunt antiquae. Stat.   
It's all Greek to me   
I may or may not be one, but I speak it like a Patrician   
As good as my Greek, my Aramaic, my Hebrew . . .   
Hair?
I don't have time to think about it   
I spend most of my morning getting it just right   
Check it out, carpet matches the drapes   
My curls make me strong   
I know, I know, get a haircut   
Only my hairdresser knows for sure   
Next question, please   
Children?
Hoping for as many as possible   
I want or have a few   
I have some . . . probably . . . somewhere . . .   
. . . are my jewels   
I'd like to pass my knowledge on to the next generation, perhaps through others' children   
Get off my lawn!   
Breakfast?
I'll take it in the formal dining room   
I could whip up a nice porridge with honey for you   
I'll have that porridge, and also fig rolls, sticky buns, picked fish, and a light wine   
On second thought, I'll just have the wine   
You should try the sausage rolls   
Who has time?   
Dreams?
I want to prove myself to my family   
I want to prove myself to my country   
I want to prove myself to myself   
I just want find the right person and to settle down   
I'm content with what I have   
I could use a little more   
I'll never get what I want. Life sucks.   
Too many. It's way too crowded in my head.   
Love is . . . ?
. . . everything   
. . . possible, if you're lucky   
. . . unnecessary for a productive partnership   
. . . overrated   
. . . lust dressed up   
. . . good exercise   
Marcus Antonius (the famous one)?
Gigolo   
Scoundrel   
Monster   
Maligned   
Role Model   
Gave that speech we had to learn in school, right? Or was that Brutus?   
Bears?
Foes   
Friends   
Family   
Fun, at a distance   
Rugs   
Women?
No more capable of managing their own lives than a child, but useful for childbearing and political alliances   
Have to know how to work the system   
Definitely the opposite sex   
I'll take two   
Gods?
Just the one, thank you   
Out there, somewhere   
Deep and Dark and Dangerous   
Watch over me   
Useful partners   
Could stand to mind their own business   
No thanks   
When the mountain blows, I will be . . .
Making sure my loved ones are safe—first and foremost   
Organising the populace to escape in an orderly fashion—my loved ones are smart enough to manage on their own   
Heading into the danger zone—to carry people out   
Grabbing some coins and running—I'll need money for necessities   
Just running—I'll figure out something later   
Hiding someplace with solid walls—and trusting in my god of choice   
Living in another city—that mountain always looked funny to me   

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See the SPQR Blues Wiki entry for Dramatis Personae and the story thus far.